•Backed with smoked hide, Charlotte cut 11/0 opal beads, 24K gold plated accent beads, 18k gold fill necklace chain.•
“Âstepayiw” - becoming healed.
This pendant took a long time to even design. I threw away I don’t know how many sketches. But once I found something that worked, it flowed. I beaded this all in one marathon beading session, working late into the night. My shoulders were on fire when I was done.
I haven’t really shared this part of my journey publicly, but I suffer from really debilitating panic attacks. They aren’t just moments of distress; they completely wipe me out and, at times, have taken days for me to recover from.
Did you know that over 40 percent of people will have a panic attack at least once in their life? And as much as one in five people suffer from an anxiety disorder. Those rates are much higher among Indigenous people because of intergenerational trauma from community wounds such as residential/boarding schools and the sixties scoop, as well as an historical lack of access to many basic life necessities.
I have found that my healing journey is nurtured by specific things - therapy, cultivating my relationship to Creator, and even adequate sleep. My husband has also been a huge source of strength as he is actively engaged and invested in my healing journey.
Everyone’s healing journey looks different.
When you see finished beadwork, you don’t see the struggles to design it, the snapped thread, the beads we had to undo, the sore arms and shoulders, or sometimes the tears. We only see a beautiful finished piece.
It’s the same thing with people. I’m more than just my panic attacks, but I carry them with me too. I’m joyful and happy but I also have wounds, even if you can’t see them.
You don’t have to be healed. This piece is simply for anyone who is in the process of becoming so. Even if it takes a lifetime.